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The 11 Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

Funeral directors, morticians, and embalmers are just like regular people. No, seriously! They have families, watch Netflix, enjoy a night out eating sushi, and wear t-shirts on their day off. If a funeral director is going to wear a t-shirt, it had better be a good one. A comfortable fit, a complementary color, a quirky quote that speaks to the heart of their macabre yet service-oriented calling in what has been termed, “The Dismal Trade.”

For the very best funeral director t-shirts, look no further. We’ve rounded up the best designs and favorites from around the web. Whether you’re shopping for yourself or for a friend, these are the best funny mortician shirts in existence.

The 11 Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

1. Dismal Trader

Funny Shirts for Morticians and Funeral DirectorsAvailable here

Cute fonts and hearts for the fashion-savvy funeral director.

2. I Will Bury You

Best Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

I literally will bury you, because it’s my job. Unless you want to be kept at home in an urn. But “I will send you home with your loved ones in an attractive American-made funeral urn” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

3. Last Responder Hearse Funeral Director T-Shirt

Funeral Director Humor ShirtsAvailable here

With due respect to the many wonderful First Responders, funeral directors have a rather different job description.

4. Eat, Sleep, Do Creepy Mortician Stuff, Repeat

Best Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

A day in the life of a mortician. Lolz. Actually it’s mostly paperwork, but let’s not spoil the fun, shall we?

5. God Found Some of the Strongest Women and Made Them Funeral Directors T-Shirt

Funeral Director T-Shirt - Womens

Available here

True story. Did you also know that women are becoming funeral directors at a higher rate than men? It’s the new face of the funeral industry, and it is beautiful to behold.

6. Embalmers T-Shirt: Some Days Are Just Draining

Macabre mortician humor tshirtsAvailable here

Ain’t that the truth? Some days are just, well, draining.

 

7. Risque Funeral Director Humor T-Shirt

Mortician Humor T-ShirtsAvailable here

For stiffness that lasts longer than four hours consult your mortician. Consider this a PSA.

8. I Put the Fun in Funeral

Best Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

Does your funeral director put the fun in funeral? I mean, really?

9. Books, Coffee & Cemeteries T-Shirt

Whimsical T-Shirt For Poets & DreamersAvailable here

A whimsical t-shirt for the poet and dreamer. Perfect for funeral directors and morticians who love the wind, autumn, and cemetery wanderings.

 

10. You Would Look Better Embalmed

Gift ideas for a mortician

Available here

You’re an embalmer so you tell it like it is. And frankly, some people would look better embalmed. Nothing wrong with that.

11. I love the smell of embalming fluid in the morning

Mortician T-ShirtsAvailable here

Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore was probably a mortician in real life.

OK Who Are We Kidding… More Funeral Director T-Shirts

Why stop at 11 when there are so many great t-shirts out there? Here are some more favorites.

12. All Men Are Cremated Equal Funeral Director Shirt

Funny Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

As funeral professionals, we hold these truths to be self-evident.

13. Future Corpse T-Shirt

Funeral director t-shirt

Available here

It’s true, we are all future corpses. This is an official t-shirt from the popular blog Order of the Good Death and its sister site, Death Salon. These sites encourage frank and thoughtful discussion about death, mortality, and the deathcare industry. The back of this t-shirt features the two website addresses.

14. Badass Mortician T-Shirt

T-Shirts for Morticians and Funeral DirectorsAvailable here

Hardcore morticians, you know who you are. This shirt is for you.

15. Wake. Embalm. Slay.

Mortician t-shirts

Available here

This is an embalmer’s life, and life is good. Wake up, embalm. #slayin’

16. What Happens in the Embalming Room Stays in the Embalming Room

What happens in the embalming room....Available here

You don’t even want to know what goes on in the embalming room. Sewing, folding, tucking, rearranging, gluing, snack break, uncontrollable giggling….

17. Embalmers T-Shirt: Our Day Begins When Your Day Ends

Embalmers: Our Day Begins When Your Day EndsAvailable here

The day’s work of the embalmer can only commence upon the eternal conclusion of the recipient’s day. Or something.

18. I’m A Funeral Director, I Solve Problems T-Shirt

Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

Available here

I’m a funeral director. I solve problems you don’t know you have in ways you can’t understand. **mic drop**

19. Morgue Life Mortuary T-Shirt

Gift Ideas for Mortuary StudentsAvailable here

It’s the morgue life.

20. A Hoodie For Your Day Off

Hoodie for a funeral directorAvailable here

Let’s face it, pretty much all of these t-shirts can only be worn on your day off, or the day when you’re stuck in the embalming room away from prying and sensitive eyes. This comfy hoodie is the one for when you really need a day off, warning everyone: Nope, not today.

More funeral director stuff…

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