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The 25 Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

Best Funeral Director T Shirts

Funeral directors, morticians, and embalmers are just like regular people. No, seriously! They have families, watch Netflix, enjoy a night out eating sushi, and wear t-shirts on their day off. If a funeral director is going to wear a t-shirt, it had better be a good one. A comfortable fit, a complementary color, a quirky quote that speaks to the heart of their macabre yet service-oriented calling in what has been termed, “The Dismal Trade.”

For the very best funeral director t-shirts, look no further. We’ve rounded up the best designs and favorites from around the web. Whether you’re shopping for yourself or for a friend, these are the best funny mortician shirts in existence.

The 25 Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

1. Limit One Per Customer

Funeral Director Humor: Caskets - Limit One Per CustomerAvailable here

Pretty self-explanatory. Might not want to wear it to work though.

2. I Will Bury You

Best Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

I literally will bury you, because it’s my job. Unless you want to be kept at home in an urn. But “I will send you home with your loved ones in an attractive American-made funeral urn” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

3. Last Responder Hearse Funeral Director T-Shirt

Funeral Director Humor ShirtsAvailable here

With due respect to the many wonderful First Responders, funeral directors have a rather different job description.

4. I Put the Fun in Funeral

I Put the Fun in Funeral ShirtAvailable here

I’m you’re friendly local neighborhood funeral director, and I put the FUN in FUNERAL!

5. Eat, Sleep, Do Creepy Mortician Stuff, Repeat

Mortician T-ShirtsAvailable here

A day in the life of a mortician. Lolz. Actually it’s mostly paperwork, but let’s not spoil the fun, shall we?

6. My Day Starts When Yours Ends… I’m Your Friendly Local Funeral Director

Funeral Director ShirtsAvailable here

Sad, but true… and just a little bit funny…

7. Funeral Director: I’ll Be the Last One to Let You Down

Funeral humor: I'll be the last one to let you down.Available here

It’s a sad thought. And then, when you keep thinking about it, it gets a little sadder. Then it gets funny. Then sad again.

8. Nothing Lasts Forever… Except My Embalmings

Funeral director t-shirt with funeral humor quoteAvailable here

Funeral humor at its finest and most gruesome. “Nothing lasts forever… except my embalmings” – Your friendly local funeral director.

9. God Found Some of the Strongest Women and Made Them Funeral Directors T-Shirt

Funeral Director T-Shirt - Womens

Available here

True story. Did you also know that women are becoming funeral directors at a higher rate than men? It’s the new face of the funeral industry, and it is beautiful to behold.

10. Embalmers T-Shirt: Some Days Are Just Draining

Macabre mortician humor tshirtsAvailable here

Ain’t that the truth? Some days are just, well, draining.

11. Risque Funeral Director Humor T-Shirt

Mortician Humor T-ShirtsAvailable here

For stiffness that lasts longer than four hours consult your mortician. Consider this a PSA.


12. I Put the Fun in Funeral

Best Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

Does your funeral director put the fun in funeral? I mean, really?

13. Books, Coffee & Cemeteries T-Shirt

Whimsical T-Shirt For Poets & DreamersAvailable here

A whimsical t-shirt for the poet and dreamer. Perfect for funeral directors and morticians who love the wind, autumn, and cemetery wanderings.

14. You Would Look Better Embalmed

Gift ideas for a mortician

Available here

You’re an embalmer so you tell it like it is. And frankly, some people would look better embalmed. Nothing wrong with that.

15. I love the smell of embalming fluid in the morning

Mortician T-ShirtsAvailable here

Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore was probably a mortician in real life.


16. All Men Are Cremated Equal Funeral Director Shirt

Funny Funeral Director T-ShirtsAvailable here

As funeral professionals, we hold these truths to be self-evident.

17. Future Corpse T-Shirt

Funeral director t-shirt

Available here

It’s true, we are all future corpses. This is an official t-shirt from the popular blog Order of the Good Death and its sister site, Death Salon. These sites encourage frank and thoughtful discussion about death, mortality, and the deathcare industry. The back of this t-shirt features the two website addresses.

18. Badass Mortician T-Shirt

T-Shirts for Morticians and Funeral DirectorsAvailable here

Hardcore morticians, you know who you are. This shirt is for you.

19. Wake. Embalm. Slay.

Mortician t-shirts

Available here

This is an embalmer’s life, and life is good. Wake up, embalm. #slayin’

20. What Happens in the Embalming Room Stays in the Embalming Room

What happens in the embalming room....Available here

You don’t even want to know what goes on in the embalming room. Sewing, folding, tucking, rearranging, gluing, snack break, uncontrollable giggling….

21. Embalmers T-Shirt: Our Day Begins When Your Day Ends

Embalmers: Our Day Begins When Your Day EndsAvailable here

The day’s work of the embalmer can only commence upon the eternal conclusion of the recipient’s day. Or something.

22. I’m A Funeral Director, I Solve Problems T-Shirt

Best Funeral Director T-Shirts

Available here

I’m a funeral director. I solve problems you don’t know you have in ways you can’t understand. **mic drop**

23. Morgue Life Mortuary T-Shirt

Gift Ideas for Mortuary StudentsAvailable here

It’s the morgue life.

24. I’m Not Dyslexic I’m a Casket Base

Best Funeral Director ShirtsAvailable here

A new, funeral-director themed take on the old dyslexic joke.

25. A Hoodie For Your Day Off

Hoodie for a funeral directorAvailable here

Let’s face it, pretty much all of these t-shirts can only be worn on your day off, or the day when you’re stuck in the embalming room away from prying and sensitive eyes. This comfy hoodie is the one for when you really need a day off, warning everyone: Nope, not today.

More funeral director stuff…

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