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Celebrating Christmas in the Wake of Death

Memories at Christmas Time

Sweet Memories at Christmas

There’s nothing better than the smell of a fresh cut tree at Christmas time. Perhaps the only thing better would be sitting down to a plate of warm sugar cookies. The kind of cookies frosted over with sprinkles galore. Add twinkling lights and glittery ornaments, and it’s no surprise Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.

Sweet memories often surface around this time of year for me. In particular, I think of times when my dad would drive our family to a local tree farm. I loved walking through the rows of trees with him and searching out the perfect one. The Christmas season always holds wonderful memories of my dad.

But that’s just it. All I have are memories of him. There are no new memories to be made. Old memories sting with the reminder that my dad passed away three years ago. There will never be another Christmas with him. And though time does weaken the blow of death, the mended pieces of my heart will never be the same.

I remember the first Christmas season without him. It was three years ago when December came and no birthday celebrations were planned for my dad. A few weeks went by, and my dad was absent at every family gathering. The wake of his death left me raw, exposed, hurting, and wondering how in the world I’d celebrate Christmas without him.

How can anyone celebrate Christmas in the wake of death? Christmas is all about joy, peace, and hope. How is it possible to celebrate when you feel less than these?

It’s possible. Believe me. Christmas is a miracle.

How to Celebrate Christmas in the Wake of Death

First of all, live in the present. Enjoy the people who are with you now. Make new memories with them. Second, don’t isolate yourself. Our tendency is to isolate ourselves when we are going through difficult times. Instead of suffering alone, reach out to people who have offered their support.

Finally, embrace the season as the right season. True joy, peace, and hope are not found in the festivities of the Christmas season. Christmas cookies only last so long. Special moments with family will come and go. Pretty packages come undone.  All the sights and sweet moments of Christmas simply can’t hold true joy, peace, and hope. They are found solely in a person—Jesus.

In the Bible, the prophet Isaiah foretold of the coming Messiah. He wrote, “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.” (Isaiah 9:2)

But why all the darkness? What made the world strikingly dark?

Darkness and the Light of Christmas

The book of Romans provides an answer. Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and sin is a problem because Romans 6:23a says, “For the wages of sin is death.” Anyone who loses a loved one knows exactly the darkness of death. It never is right. Death is proof of a corrupt world. According to Genesis 3:19, death is the curse of man’s sin.

But Jesus is our hope because in John 12:46 he said, “I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.” Jesus is the way out of darkness. He is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25). “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:22). There is life for those who believe, and the promised life is for both now and a future glory (Romans 8:11 and 8:23).

Joy, Peace, and Hope

When you lose a loved one, it’s easy for despair to settle in. It pursues your hope and can cloud your days in darkness. I remember the year my dad died. I’d replay memories of him in my mind, expecting these memories to somehow resurrect him from the dead. My hope was in myself, which left me in despair. The truth is, my mind was in all the wrong places.

Perhaps you can relate. Hopelessness will run rampant unless you believe in Jesus. He alone has the power to conquer your despair. In John 12:46 Jesus said that whoever believes in him would not remain in darkness. The way out of despair is Jesus. He is the way. Believe he is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25 and Romans 10:9), and believe in a future glory, when we will be set free from corruption (Romans 8:21).

In Romans 15:13 the apostle Paul wrote, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Though you may be celebrating a first Christmas without a loved one, you can know true joy, peace, and hope. They are found only in Jesus. Look at him with an unwavering gaze. Not only can he sympathize with your loss (Matthew 14:10-13 and John 11:32-35), he can be the hope in your despair.

Sandra Bretschneider lives in Florida with her husband and three young daughters. She founded the online ministry He Gently Leads You, which aims to encourage and equip moms to spend consistent time in God’s Word. You can read more about Sandra and her last special moment with her dad here. Also, make sure to subscribe to the newsletter here.

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Finding the miraculous hope of Christmas after the death of a loved one

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One thought on “Celebrating Christmas in the Wake of Death

  1. Sandra, I love the way your words develop into the most sincere and deep feeling. How did you walk through verses in the Bible to make us realize that the absence of a loved one is not in our heart. That, that someone will dwell in our memories and our soul for the rest of our lives.

    Your ability to convey your feelings and touch our understanding and sentiments about loosing someone, make us realize that no matter what a void space is only materialistic, that space in our hearts is totally vindicated with the love of Christ.

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