Funeral directors, morticians, and embalmers are just like regular people. No, seriously! They have families, watch Netflix, enjoy a night out eating sushi, and wear t-shirts on their day off.
If a funeral director is going to wear a t-shirt, it had better be a good one. A comfortable fit, a complementary color, a quirky quote that speaks to the heart of their macabre yet service-oriented calling in what has been termed, “The Dismal Trade.”
For the very best funeral director t-shirts, look no further. We’ve rounded up the best designs and favorites from around the web. Whether you’re shopping for yourself or for a friend, these are the best funny mortician shirts in existence.
The 25 Best Funeral Director T-Shirts
1. Limit One Per Customer
Pretty self-explanatory. Might not want to wear it to work though.
2. I Will Bury You
I literally will bury you, because it’s my job. Unless you want to be kept at home in an urn. But “I will send you home with your loved ones in an attractive American-made funeral urn” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.
3. Last Responder Hearse Funeral Director T-Shirt
With due respect to the many wonderful First Responders, funeral directors have a rather different job description.
The standard version is shown above. For the tighter and more form-fitting “premium” version, go here.
4. I Put the Fun in Funeral
I’m your friendly local neighborhood funeral director, and I put the FUN in FUNERAL!
5. Eat, Sleep, Do Creepy Mortician Stuff, Repeat
A day in the life of a mortician. Lolz. Actually, it’s mostly paperwork, but let’s not spoil the fun, shall we?
6. Embalmers T-Shirt: Some Days Are Just Draining
Ain’t that the truth? Some days are just, well, draining. Please note – the sizes run small on this shirt.
7. I Enjoy Romantic Walks Through the Cemetery
This quirky and cheeky t-shirt will have everyone laughing, including them! If there’s any profession where the mood may need to be lightened a bit, it’s probably safe to say that it’s the role of a funeral director.
Give them the gift of levity with this comfy tee, perfect for when they get off of those long days, or on the weekends. Available in lots of colors and sizes to accommodate everyone.
8. My Day Starts When Yours Ends…
Sad, but true… and just a little bit funny…
9. Funeral Director Shirt: I Can’t, I’m On Call
A funny shirt for the reality of a funeral director’s life! They’ll love wearing this on their “day off”.
10. Nothing Lasts Forever… Except My Embalmings
Funeral humor at its finest and most gruesome. “Nothing lasts forever… except my embalmings” – Your friendly local funeral director.
11. Nacho Average Funeral Director T-Shirt
Who knew the perfect shirt for taco-Tuesday actually existed??
12. God Found Some of the Strongest Women and Made Them Funeral Directors T-Shirt
13. I Put the Fun in Funeral
Does your funeral director put the fun in funeral? I mean, really?
14. Books, Coffee & Cemeteries T-Shirt
A whimsical t-shirt for the poet and dreamer. Perfect for funeral directors and morticians who love the wind, autumn, and cemetery wanderings.
15. Merry Mortician
Everyone deserves to show off their merriest Christmas spirit during the holiday season, and that definitely includes morticians! This cute and cozy sweatshirt will make the perfect addition to the fun side of their winter wardrobe.
Whether its running errands, the office Christmas party, or just snuggling up by the fire; this classic fit, comfy sweater will suit them perfectly.
16. I love the smell of embalming fluid in the morning
Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore was probably a mortician in real life. And this was probably his favorite shirt.
17. All Men Are Cremated Equal Funeral Director Shirt
As funeral professionals, we hold these truths to be self-evident.
18. Future Corpse T-Shirt
It speaks nothing but the truth, and who says a little… uh, foreshadowing can’t be funny, eh? This shirt is a little goth, a slight bit morbid, but very-very funeral director.
This will be quick to become their go-to tee for casual days, weekends and everything in between! Available in men’s and women’s sizes and several colors to suit their taste.
19. Embalmer Definition Funny T-Shirt
The embalmer is, by definition, the last one to put a smile on your face.
20. What Happens in the Embalming Room Stays in the Embalming Room
You don’t even want to know what goes on in the embalming room. Sewing, folding, tucking, rearranging, gluing, snack break, uncontrollable giggling…. what happens in the embalming room stays in the embalming room.
21. Embalmers T-Shirt: Our Day Begins When Your Day Ends
The day’s work of the embalmer can only commence upon the eternal conclusion of the recipient’s day. Or something.
22. I Was Tagging People Before Social Media
Make them laugh until they might need a tag themselves. This fun graphic tee is just what they need to lighten the office mood.
You know what they say about morticians having the best senses of humor, right? Well, you can help them prove it with this hilarious shirt. Everyone will want to know where they found it!
23. Morgue Life Mortuary T-Shirt
It’s the morgue life.
24. Never Cross A Woman…
You know that’s right. And seriously, don’t cross her!
25. Plenty of Room In This Hearse
Funeral directors know that there is definitely plenty of room in the hearse. For… you know….
More funeral director stuff…
- 36 Hilarious Mortician Humor Memes
- Funeral Home Decor: 20 accents to breathe life into a dreary mortuary
- 7 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Funeral Directors
- What is the difference between funeral director, mortician, and undertaker?
Daniel has been working in the funeral industry since 2010, speaking directly to grieving families as they made funeral arrangements.
He began researching and publishing funeral articles on this website as part of his role as product and marketing manager at Urns Northwest.
Having written hundreds of articles and growing the site to multiple millions of views per year, Daniel continues to write while providing editorial oversight for US Urns Online’s content team.