Last Updated on March 25, 2020
Tips about gift ideas for mothers who have lost a child are best coming from moms who have experience in this area of grief.
Below, we’ve compiled a list of 15 compassionate gifts for grieving moms that have been suggested on blog posts, comments, and gift lists curated by those who know. Links to resources are included at the end of the post.
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15 COMPASSIONATE GIFTS FOR GRIEVING MOMS
- Food – Bring a hot meal, or a freezer meal for later. This is a simple gesture, yet meaningful. Check out the link for a comprehensive guide on how to do this in a way that is truly helpful.
- Gift certificate – A gift card to a restaurant – find out her favorite – will be an appreciated gift for use in the weeks after the initial flood of support subsides.
- Molly Bear – A truly unique gift idea, these weighted teddy bears are made to the exact weight of the infant at the time of loss. Read their story.
- Heart Box Studio – Lovely collage artwork that simply addresses grief, recommended by grieving moms.
- Personalized Ornament – Engraved with the child’s name or picture.
- Footprint Necklace – The child’s footprints engraved onto a stainless steel necklace or ring.
- Angel Wing Necklace – The child’s name etched onto angel wings. Ideal for someone who doesn’t have the footprints; for instance, a mother who lost the child during pregnancy.
- Memory Box – “After you lose a baby there can be so few precious things to keep, giving someone a beautiful place to keep them is such a thoughtful gift.” – Jessica
- Heart Box Studio – Beautiful handmade artwork that highlights grief.
- Entwined Rings – Suggested as a gift for moms who have lost twins or triplets, sets of two or three rings engraved with each little one’s name.
- Name in the Sand – Seashore of Remembrance will create personalized sand artwork on the beach in memory of your loved one, and will send you a photo.
- Embroidered Handkerchief – Have a handkerchief embroidered with the child’s name to ‘catch her tears for her precious child.’
- Memorial Quilt – Make a memorial quilt from the little one’s clothing. Other DIY ideas includes ornaments, totes, and pillows.
- Birthstone Angel Candle – One mom expressed her appreciation after receiving a memorial candle and angel with the child’s birthstone.
- Healing Hearts Comfort Kit – A small gift bag ‘filled with natural herbal products to soothe an aching heart.’
BONUS SYMPATHY GIFT IDEAS
- Reach out to the grieving mom on Mother’s Day. Give flowers, a note, something that honors the child and acknowledges her grief. Read more here.
- Same thing goes for the childs birthday and the anniversary of their death. A card, a text, a movie and chocolate, flowers – simple gestures that show you care. Here are more ways to help your friend on the death anniversary.
- Many moms in comments have expressed appreciation for a bag of groceries, especially fresh fruits and vegetables. After a flood of cassaroles and heavy meals, guilt-free, healthy veggies, salads, and fruits can be a truly comforting and refreshing meal.
ADDITIONAL TIPS FOR SYMPATHY GIFTS
- Don’t try to find the perfect words of comfort. There aren’t any.
- Keep it simple and personal: “I’m sorry,” a hug, a caring touch – these offer real comfort.
- Allow yourself to cry. This shows the grieving parent how much you care, and that their tears are ok.
- Never say, “I know how you feel,” even if you have been through something similar.
- Listen, and don’t try to ‘fix it’ or offer advice. Avoid “you should…” and “you shouldn’t…”
- Don’t ask “What can I do?” Instead, offer specific help: “May I watch the kids for you tomorrow?” “May I come over to clean your kitchen?”
- Pray for your friend, but avoid saying insensitive things like ‘Now you have an angel in Heaven’ or ‘God doesn’t give you more than you can handle’. These may seem like statements of truth, but it’s the last thing a loss mom wants to hear, even if they are a Christian.
- Give attention to the surviving children. Their grief is real, and they will often have a difficult time expressing it. Talk to them, and acknowledge their grief and loss.
- Use the deceased child’s name. It may seem counterintuitive, but using the child’s name will let parents know that they are not alone in remembering their child.
- Similarly, sharing memories you have with the child can be very reassuring to the grieving parents.
- Laughter is good. If you have a humorous story about the child, it’s ok to tell it, and healthy to share a laugh together.
- Be patient. Grieving takes time.
- Four Plus an Angel – What to Give
- The Compassionate Friends – How Can I Help?
- Columbia SC Mom’s Blog – 5 Ways to Honor the Child Your Friend Lost this Christmas